2009 Yankees Playoff Predictions

Hello boys and girls. That time of year has come around and excitement is in the air. The Yankees flourished during the regular season thanks to some help from big name free agents and other surprisingly good years from others. It seems that this Yankees team is different from the past decade and half. This team actually exudes the joy and confidence that comes with simply playing baseball for a living. But alas, there are pressures for this Yankees team. They have not won a world series title in almost a decade. This year seems to be the best chance they've had in years. So the following are my predictions for the NY Yankees and their postseason run. Here we go....


(1) A-Rod will shine- A-Rod is not the most likeable guy but even the most cold-hearted person has to be pulling for him. You'd think winning two MVPs and knocking up Kate Hudson would be enough to win Yankees fans over, but it's not. The only way for A-Rod to do that would be to hit a big home run in a big spot. He has already done that this year (just ask Tazawa of the Red Sox how his major league debut went).

(2) Joba=Roloids Relief Man of Year Material...Again- Listen, I know people are split about Joba in the pen but I think that it is becoming more obvious that he is a mediocre starting pitcher. It is time we just embrace that the fireballer is most effective coming out of the pen with Motle Crue's "Shout at the Devil" blasting (honestly Joba and Brock Lesnar share one of the best entrance songs of all time). Joba will find his fastball that has been absent for most of the season. Please for the love of God keep him in the pen.

(3) Fear the Baggy- Admittedly, I am a huge fan of the Metrodome. But I fear that the last year in the Metrodome might try to steal a series for the Twins. It held unspeakable, and frankly, angering amounts of magic for Brett Favre and it just may do the same for the Twins.

(4) Pavano Against the Yankees- Oh sweet revenge, please let Pavano get shelled by the Yankees. But maybe shelling Pavano is not enough. Imagine this scenario. Pavano gives up a walk off home run to win the series for the Yankees. The ball traveled so far that it actually went through the Metrodome wall and falls joyfully from atop the stadium into a car's windshield driven by none other than Twin's great Paul Molitor who is so taken back by these occurrences that he decides that God must have created this situation. Molitor renounces all of his possessions and creates a cult based purely on the ball that fell through his windshield. Years pass as Molitor's cult becomes a powerful world religion. The ball draws comparisons to the Ark of the Covenant. Movies and books are created about the legend and lore of this ball. Eventually the cult collapses after Molitor's unsuccessful attempt at world domination. The ball disappears for decades, then suddenly reemerges off the coast of Alaska. The ball is put up for auction and is bought by Yankees owner Dave Steinbrenner, son of Hank. More time passes and the Yankees win an unprecedented 11 World Series titles in a row, while the Twins post 12 consecutive 130 loss seasons with no batters hitting above .203 for the season. Dave, wanting to cash in, puts the ball up for auction again and sells the ball for 40 million dollars of profit, thus making back all the money the Yankees lost on Pavano in the first place.

I dont know how I can follow that....here are some more predictions for the rest of the postseason.

Yankees defeat Minnesota Twins 3-1 in ALDS

MVP: Mark Texeira.
LVP: Francisco Liriano
Shocker to Minnesota: Brett Gardner's incendiary speed.
Shocker to the Yankees: Blackburn's big game pitching.

Yankees defeat Boston Red Sox 4-2 in AL Championship

MVP: C.C. Sabathia
LVP: Dustin Pedroia
Shocker to Boston: A-Rod's clutch hitting and fielding.
Shocker to the Yankees: Papelbon's ineffectiveness.

Yankees defeat Phillies 4-3 to Win World Series

MVP: Derek Jeter/Johnny Damon
LVP: Cole Hamels
Shocker to Philly: Damon's power.
Shocker to the Yankees: Howard's effectiveness against lefties.